A Longer Story

Beneath the violet twilight, the figures clashed. The long sticks swept arcs in the air, met briefly, and twirled about for another round. The brown-robed men wove complex patterns on the tile as they converged and circled.

"Let the Force guide you, Padawan," the taller figure instructed.

"Yes, Master." The smaller man parried another cut, then swept back in a wide arc.

The dance continued for several minutes. The sticks clacked together and cut empty air in a staccato rhythm.

Finally the Master brushed aside a cut and lightly touched the Apprentice in the center of his chest. "Let us end for tonight."

The Apprentice bowed deeply. "Thank you for your instruction, Master."

The bow was returned. "Thank you for doing what is expected of you."

The pair crossed the tile courtyard and stepped up into the darkened corridors of the building. Lights hummed and flickered on as they approached, and dimmed with a faint pop as they left.

"You were very good tonight, my Padawan. You were able to merge with the Force with little effort."

The Master spoke without turning. The Apprentice kept his gaze upon his Master's back as he replied, "I did not feel as if I was in control. I felt…disengaged."

The pair arrived at a central room, where the Master handed his robe and practice stick to the Apprentice. "There were moments when you were not in control, but under the guidance to the Force." He moved across the room to a set of storage compartments, where he began removing several small packages. "There were also times when you were not in control, and not under the guidance of the Force. These were the opportunities I took to tap you with my blade."

The Apprentice listened as he carefully folded the Master's robe. "If it had been a live blade…"

"But," the Master continued, "there were also moments when you were in control, and under the guidance of the Force. These were the occasions when I had to quickly swat aside your attack, or retreat swinging my blade wildly. It is this control of the Force which heralds a new day in your training."

The Apprentice stopped. "Master?"

"It is time for you to construct your blade, Padawan. Further practice with the sticks will only make you oblivious to the danger of the live blade."

The Master placed the packages in a small device and activated the controls. The Apprentice placed the folded robe onto a shelf below the racks holding the pair of practice sticks.

How many years have I practiced with these? he wondered. The sticks were old and worn. The handles were stained black with years of sweat and oil. The ends were scratched and dented from thousands upon thousands of strikes and blocks. I could hardly pick the thing up when I was young. I…

He turned quickly, throwing out his hands in defense, lowering his center of gravity by spreading his stance. The Master stood barely a meter away, calm and composed.

"You see? Even when lost in your own thoughts, you have a deep connection to the Force. How long ago was it that I would have sent you flying down the hall?"

The Apprentice smiled, and relaxed his stance-upon which, his forward foot suddenly slipped and caused him to fall in a heap upon the floor.

"You are not a Jedi yet, my Padawan. You have accomplished much, but there is still yet more to do." He moved forward and held out his hand.

"Yes, Master." The Apprentice reached for his Master's hand, and briefly considered an attack, to see if his Master's guard had fallen…

The hand withdrew with the Master. "Come, Donan. Let's eat."

Jedi Master Penam Odosque and his Padawan Apprentice Donan Boral sat facing one another in the tiled courtyard of the temple. Their light meal finished, and the dark of night now full about them, the Master instructed his pupil again.

"Deeply. Let go of your perceptions."

Donan found his thoughts swirling. A new phase of training. My own lightsaber…

He noticed his loss of focus and fought to quell the thoughts and emotions which flooded him.

"Don't fight. Submit to the Force."

The Apprentice breathed deeply, focusing on the outrush of breath, imagining his thoughts escaping with the air.

"Good. Relax. Submit."

He settled into a natural breathing pattern as the thoughts and emotions which had assailed him since the evening meal began to quiet. He relaxed, allowing his mind to blend with the flow of the Force.

"Yes, that's it. Settle into the flow. The Force will provide what you need."

Donan found that he could now make out shapes and outlines in the near total darkness-even though his eyes were closed.

"The Force connects all things-you, I, the temple, my light saber…everything."

Donan found that he could see these things more clearly now, though perhaps seeing was the wrong word. Feeling. Sensing.

"Drink deeply of its waters, and all things will become clear to you."

The Apprentice sensed a disturbance between Penam and himself. As he tried to investigate it, he found his senses growing dull and unfocused. "Master…"

"Do without doing. See without seeing. The harder you grasp a handful of water, the more it slips from your fingers."

Donan relaxed again, and his sense returned.

"That is a current in the Force. A flux. A change that I have created."

"But I thought…"

"I know how to swim in the waters. You are still learning to float. Learning to see that which you have already known."

The Master's fugue finally caused Donan's concentration to waver. The courtyard became dark again. "I don't understand."

Penam stood. "Come. I will show you what you already know."

Donan stood as the Master retrieved the practice sticks from the edge of the courtyard. As he walked back across the tile, the Jedi casually tossed one of the sticks towards his Apprentice. "Catch!"

As Donan reached for the stick tumbling towards him, Penam rushed forward, his own stick raised high above his head in preparation for a strike. Donan quickly shifted to his right, catching the practice blade and bringing it down to strike his Master's left side.

Penam stopped his rush and pivoted on his forward foot, easily blocking Donan's strike and bringing his blade to bear again.

The two sparred for a few moments, the practice sticks clashing in the rapidly cooling night air. Then Penam stepped away from a strike, moving backwards into a defensive position. Donan did the same.

"How did you know I was about to strike?" the Master asked.

"I saw you rush forward."

"With your eyes? It is near total darkness tonight. You saw me in pure starlight?"

Donan reached back in his memories of the past few minutes. He's right…I cannot see him now. "Perhaps I heard the difference in your footsteps."

Suddenly there was a tap on Donan's shoulder. He whirled about and was caught fast by the Master.

"Now do you think you heard me?"

"No, Master."

"And you are right. But you did see me. With the Force. You saw my intentions as a disturbance in the Force."

Penam took the practice blade from his Apprentice and walked back across the tiled courtyard. "You acted without thinking. You knew without knowing. You successfully defended and attacked without seeing anything.

" You allowed the Force to guide your actions. Without thinking about it. "

A light flickered on at the edge of the courtyard. Donan walked towards it and his Master.

"Yes, I see, Master. But…I don't know how I allowed my self to be guided. I never thought of giving myself to the Force."

"You simply did it without thinking."

"Yes, but…how am I to use the Force as you did earlier? How can I control the Force intentionally ?"

"Practice, my Padawan. Much practice."

The speeder raced down the mountain side, shredding the morning fog with its passage. Inside, Penam turned the heater on high.

"Yes. Sense the engine. Feel its workings."

Donan held the controls lightly, easing the craft over the gentle mountain slopes and between the stands of trees. He tried to let his Force-awareness expand to include the speeder and the rushing landscape.

"Become one with the speeder. Become one with the land. The Force will guide you."

Donan tried not to think about steering as the Master spoke. "Sense how the parts of the speeder work together. See the connections. See the limitations. See the flow of power. Sense the repulsor fields pushing against the ground.

"You must master this, my Padawan. The Apprentice must be able to see the pieces as a whole and the whole as pieces. Only in this way will one know how to construct a lightsaber."

A lightsaber! Donan's attention wavered, and the speeder made an unnatural lurch to one side. Penam folded his hands in his lap as the Apprentice regained control of the craft.

"Let go of you desires, Padawan. They are too strong. They will lead you to the Dark Side, if you are not careful."

This was a constant conversation which fascinated and bewildered Donan. "Master, surely you don't mean that a Jedi may have no feelings?"

"A Jedi must master himself before he may master others. Thus a Jedi must master his emotions. You will have them, but you must not let them control your thoughts and actions."

"I understand not allowing my emotions to rule my actions. How can I prevent my emotions from ruling my mind?"

"By letting go. By not dwelling on them. Let the emotion come and go, like a wave on the shore."

Donan pondered this for a moment. The conversation was the same, though the details differed slightly from the last time the two had discussed emotions.

"Master, if I let the emotion come and go, it will take me with it. If I let the emotion come, I cannot control my thoughts. Shouldn't I try to prevent the emotion?"

"No. You must separate the thought from the emotion. It is fine to feel happy or sad, but you must not think 'I am happy' or 'I am sad'. You are the master of your thoughts. Do not attach your mind to your emotions, and they will come and go of their own accord.

"Already you have done this in our practice work with the blade. When I strike you, you feel fright…"

"I am not afraid!"

Penam's eyes scolded the boy. Donan drove on in silence for a moment. "I'm sorry, Master."

"It is forgiven. However, you may be correct. You may no longer fear a strike. This is why you must graduate to the live blade."

Again the speeder shuddered, but this time it was slight.

"There was a time when you feared the strike. Seeing a strike, your emotions locked your thoughts, and thus your body; you were unable to respond to the attack.

"In time, you learned to allow the emotion without dwelling on it. Though you saw the strike coming, though you feared the painful sting it would apply, your thoughts guided you to safety. You moved in spite of the fear.

"And you did this without conscious thought. Just as you have been able to dip into the power of the Force without thinking about it. Already you know what to do, and how to do it.

"Now you must learn to do it by choice, not merely by reflex."

The mountain slopes had given way to gentle hills. Donan slowed as he navigated the outlying farms.

"You must let go of your desire to be a Jedi, Donan. Let go of your desire for a lightsaber. These cravings will be your undoing, if you are not careful. They can lead to the Dark Side."

"How, Master? How do they lead to the Dark Side?"

Penam closed his eyes. "Those who are controlled by their emotions. By anger. Hate. Lust. Those who submit to the chaos of their emotions are led to the Dark Side.

"The Dark Side is evil. The evil that men do serves the Dark Side. Those who wield power without control are led by the Dark Side.

"Cravings do not lead to the Dark Side. Allowing those cravings to control your thoughts and actions is to walk the Dark Path.

"Once, many Jedi followed the Dark Path. They did not understand, in the beginning, the heavy price that must be paid for submission. They paid dearly for their mistake."

The speeder pulled into town, and Donan steered in the direction that Penam pointed.

"We will speak of this later. Now, we must purchase the parts for your lightsaber."

"Open yourself to the Force. See with and without your eyes."

Donan complied, and nearly fell over from the disorientation of seeing double. "Master…"

Penam grabbed his Padawan's elbow and helped him stay upright. "You will adjust. You've never been around this many people at once."

The sense was staggering. Donan's eyes saw people walking the streets, talking, laughing-doing all the things that people do. Through the Force, he saw more-flitting shapes, shadows in the middle of the sunlit walk, vague sensations of joy and fear and a thousand other emotions.

"When people say that they want to 'get the feel for a place', I suspect that they are really looking through the eyes of the Force. You are seeing the disturbances of many people's daily lives through the Force. There…" The Master pointed to a spot where a woman was walking. Donan could see a dark shadow clinging to her form.

"She carries dark thoughts with her. If you focus, you can hear them."

Donan concentrated on the woman. As he focused, he could hear a tiny voice whispering…

< Stupid Jahan! He thinks he can get the best of me, does he? I'll show him. First I'll get my knife… >

"Relax, Donan. They are her thoughts. She may or may not act on them. But the thoughts are dark, and thus she is cloaked in the residue of the Dark Side."

Penam pointed to another person. "There, those children. Look."

Donan shifted his attention. The children seemed bathed in a gentle white glow as they played.

"They are happy. They carry no dark thoughts with them. They can do anything, because the Force is with them.

"Now, practice as we walk. We have a few stops to make."

Donan walked into the clothing shop and began looking for the clothes that Master Penam had described. The shopkeeper sat a vid screen down on the counter and walked over to the display area.

"You have something in mind?"

Donan saw the shopkeeper walk over, even though his back was turned. "Yes," he replied without turning, "I'm going to need some new pants and tunics before long. My Master says I'll be having another growth spurt soon."

The shopkeeper eyed Donan. "Hmmph. I'd say you're about due. So, you want something like you've got on?"

"Yes, but also a formal set."

The keeper began rifling through the racks, and found several pants and tunics in deep earth tones. He held them up to Donan's lean form one by one, comparing the length and cut to some imaginary size.

"Those should fit you once that spurt hits. You want them?"

There were everyday two tunic and pants sets, and one formal set-just as the Master had specified. "Yes, I'll take them."

"That'll be fifty credits."

Donan felt a pang of fear in his heart. Master Penam only gave me thirty credits…

"Son?"

"I wish they were a little cheaper…"

The shopkeeper's expression changed. "A little cheaper…" he repeated.

"I've only got thirty credits. Would you take thirty credits for them?"

"Thirty credits for them…" the keeper repeated.

"Great, thanks." He took the pouch of credits and laid them on the counter. "There's your credits. Thank you."

As he collected the clothes, the keeper monotoned, "There's my credits. Thank you."

The Jedi Master Penam Odosque and his Padawan Apprentice Donan Boral sat at a table on the edge of the market square, eating roast ewk and sipping warm synale.

"Yes, deeply. See with the Force."

Donan tried to continue his meal while maintaining his connection to the Force. It was difficult at times, and often he stopped seeing or eating, but the Master would gently guide him back to the task.

"Practice full awareness. You must be able to function completely while immersed in the Force."

The pair finished their meals and sat back in their chairs. Donan found it easier to flow with the Force when he wasn't doing something else at the same time. Soon I will be a Jedi, with my own blade… The market dimmed, and new shapes formed in the square. What?

<Donan!>

The images faded. The boy sat up quickly and found that Penam was not at his seat. "Master?"

Donan looked around, but could not find his Master. "Where are you? How…"

<Balance, Donan. Balance. Balance the internal and the external. You must practice. I am sitting on the curb of a nearby alley. Find me.>

Donan merged with the Force and saw a brief, bright flash at the edge of his vision. He stood and moved through the crowd in that direction.

<Balance, Donan. You will not find me unless you use the Force. However, if you merge too fully, you might get run over by a speeder…>

Donan nearly tripped over the curb at this last statement. The Master did not make jokes or take things lightly; yet his comment seemed almost…comical. He shook his head and continued the search.

Donan found his Master a few minutes later, on a curb of an alley nearly half a kilometer from the market square.

Penam stood and brushed off his cloak. "Good. Now we can go back to the temple and get to work."

"Master, a question first."

"Yes, go ahead."

"When I was sitting in the square, I saw…things that weren't there. They disappeared when you called."

"Yes, I know." Penam motioned for them to walk as he continued his answer. "You lost touch with this world and this time."

"Master?"

"The Force holds the universe together. It binds all things, past, present and future. When you open yourself fully to the Force, you will see other places and other times. Your awareness of this word and this time slipped, and briefly you saw another place and another time."

"I saw another time-the future?"

"Perhaps. The past is always more clear, more easily seen. The future is chaos, always on the verge of becoming something else. The trained Jedi can use this information in his work."

The two walked in silence through the city streets, back towards the speeder. Donan re-merged with the Force, and tried to relax as the double images shifted before him.

Donan obeyed the thoughts of his Master and turned to look down an alley across the street. His eyes saw a small group of young men, but the Force revealed a great spot of darkness attempting to overwhelm a small spark of light. <What is it, Master?>

<Trouble. Listen to the thoughts…>

Donan focused his attention.

< Kill her grab the credits>

< Quick stab twist easy so easy>

< Yes, brothers. Do it now.>

Donan's focus slipped, and he saw that Penam had run across the street and was nearly upon the group.

< Use the Force, Donan. It will quicken your step. We must hurry if we are to save her. >

Donan's eyes swept across the street to check for traffic before he merged with the Force and began running towards the group. As he moved, it seemed that everything else had slowed to a crawl. Even Penam seemed stuck in place. A thought struck him as he reached the other side of the street. Master said that I could see other times through the Force…I wonder if a Jedi can move through time, or alter time…

Events resumed their normal flow. Donan came to a halt just a few paces behind and to the left of his Master. He surveyed the scene with his eyes and saw a group of five men surrounding an old woman. The men were dressed in dark coveralls and each brandished some type of club or knife-except for one who stood apart, carrying no weapon and smiling at the scene.

"Move on," Penam's voice commanded. "There is nothing to do here."

The Master's voice seemed to echo in Donan's ears far too long. The command touched him deeply, and he almost found himself moving away from the group. The men turned, seemingly confused.

"Go away, old man!" the lone man shouted. "This is none of your business!"

The command was powerful, and again Donan found himself ready to turn and walk away. The group seemed to regain their spirit, but now two moved towards the woman and the other two turned their attention towards the Jedi and his Padawan. The lone man remained where he stood, smiling.

< Stand back a step, Donan. Ready your weapon. >

Donan stepped back and removed the folding stick from his belt. The Master had given him the weapon upon their first visit to the city. Folded, it was about a quarter meter long. With a quick flick of his wrist, it would unfold into a thin but strong metal baton about a meter long-just about the length of his practice stick back in the temple. A bit shorter than a Jedi's lightsaber.

Two refuse cans moved across the alley and struck the advancing men dead on. Donan felt the ripples from the Master's use of the Force wash over him.

The men brushed themselves off and continued their advance.

Through the Force, Donan could see Penam attempting to move other objects, even trying to clutch the woman and remove her from the scene. But he also saw a dark ripple emanating from the lone man, thwarting the attempts.

Penam's lightsaber flicked on, causing the men to slow their advance. < You must help the woman, Donan. I will deal with this one. >

The Master suddenly leapt, jumping and turning over the heads of the group and landing behind the lone man. Donan flicked out his baton and advanced towards the woman.

Master Penam swept his blade through the space where the dark man had been, but the figure had leapt back farther down the street. Penam felt the man's presence through the Force, and turned in pursuit.

The pair ran through the streets of the city. Penam clipped his lightsaber back to his belt as he chased his quarry. The dark man turned frequently, jumping atop moving vehicles and small buildings. Penam followed, wary that the man might lead him into a trap. This one must be stopped!

The dark man continued leaping onto buildings, moving up higher into the city. Penam slowed slightly, sensing danger. Soon-his plan comes to an end soon.

The dark man made an incredible leap across an entire street, landing just barely on the rooftop of a building across the way. Penam halted, knowing that the man would have the advantage as the Master crossed the distance. The dark man seemed agitated, pacing back and forth at the building's edge. Penam watched, trying to decide how best to deal with the enemy.

<Master!>

Donan's voice rang clear in the Master's mind. Of course! They mean to take Donan!

He turned and raced back.

Donan advanced against the four men. Relax, merge, flow…

The four circled Donan, feinting and lunging against the Apprentice, the woman now forgotten. They seemed to move as one, ebbing and flowing as a tide against the young man.

Donan flicked his baton against the intruding wrists and feet, occasionally connecting with sharp crack! The attackers seemed unfazed, nearly immune to the pain. Only the occasional grimace betrayed any hurt that he inflicted.

The five advanced and retreated for several minutes, and Donan managed to remain free of injury. However, the fight was growing long, and he found himself becoming tired. They move in short spurts-I must continue moving to avoid all attacks! This cannot last long!

Donan reached for the Force to strengthen him. His attention faltered slightly, and a club managed to connect with his head.

<Master!>

Anger swelled within the Apprentice. I cannot be beaten by these! I am Jedi! His baton whirled, knocking back the continued assaults. How dare you assault me?

A blow managed to disable one of the attackers. The man went down and whimpered. Donan used the opening to escape the circle, then immediately attacked the man nearest to him. The man tried to move so that the other two could form a new concentrated attack, but Donan kept himself out of the circle.

"KIAI!" he shouted as he brought the full weight of the baton down on one attacker's arm. The bone cracked and splintered; Donan immediately swept the weapon back up across the man's neck, and the now lifeless form dropped suddenly.

Donan looked up from the carnage at the two (now hesitant) attackers. He leapt forward, landing mere centimeters before the pair. The baton swept up and across, snapping the ribs of the man on the right. Donan spun to engage the final man.

"Donan! No!"

He stopped the attack millimeters shy of the target. Donan turned to find Master Penam racing back through the alley.

"It is not the way, Donan! Let go of your anger!"

The final attacker turned and ran. Donan reached out with the Force to stop the man.

"No!"

Again, Donan stopped just shy of his goal. "Master, we must stop them."

"They have stopped, Donan. The woman is long gone."

Donan looked and confirmed his Master's observation. "But they attacked me! Was I supposed to let them go?"

"Yes."

"Master!"

"Enough!" the Jedi Master shouted. The voice seemed to echo in Donan's bones. He found himself becoming calm again. "You have let your emotions gain control. It is dangerous, Donan. That is the path of the Dark S-oh!"

Penam reached up to his neck. Donan saw the dark man scurrying back through the alley, into a main thoroughfare. Donan returned his attention to his Master.

"Master Penam?"

The older Jedi laid his hand heavily upon his apprentice. "We must return to the temple at once, my Padawan. Time is short."

Master Penam slumped in the passenger seat of the speeder. Donan piloted the craft through the low hills, changing course often as the Master had instructed. Donan glanced quickly at his Master, and felt a pang of fear in his heart.

"Here. Stop here," the Master instructed.

Donan eased off of the throttle and pulled the speeder up to the edge of a wooded area. "The temple is far away, Master."

Penam crawled out of the speeder. "Send it away. Now."

Donan typed a few instructions into the controls, then stepped aside. The speeder lifted, then moved quickly into the distance.

"We must move. Help me."

Donan grabbed his Master's arm, and together the pair walked deeper into the woods.

"Master."

The dark man sat on his knees in the small chamber, eyes closed. "Speak."

"Master, they have returned to the mountains."

The dark eyes opened. "I know."

The other man began to tremble. "They did not go directly to the temple, M-m-master. They seem to be taking a more…circuitous route."

"It was a glancing blow. He may still recover." The dark man arose. "We must find them, quickly. Prepare the shuttles."

"Yes, Master Devar."

The pair stumbled through the descending twilight. "Up, my Padawan. Up there."

They climbed through the underbrush and emerged onto a small clearing. Before them stood the imposing face of a cliff, rising into the darkness. Below, the dark waters of a lake could barely be discerned. Donan searched the area for a safe place to stop.

"There. A cave in the cliff face. Go there."

The darkness hid Penam's face. Donan worried about what he would see when light was again available. He pushed the thought aside and helped his Master into the cave.

The darkness was cut suddenly by the light of Penam's lightsaber. "Here. Take it. I will not need it again for some time." He handed the live blade to his Padawan. "Bury the blade in the rocks."

Donan did as he was told. The blade heated the rocks, and a trickle of warmth began to fill the cave. Satisfied, the Apprentice removed the blade and turned it off.

Penam lay on a flat portion of the floor, near the small molten pool. "Sit, my Padawan. There is much that I must say, and soon there will be much for you to do."

"Master…"

<Sit, my Padawan. I do not have the energy to argue with you.>

Donan sat. Master, you are dying.

<Perhaps. I must rest. This place will be safe for me, but you will need to leave soon.>

"Master! I cannot leave you like this!"

Donan felt another pang of fear. I await your instructions, Master.

Master?

I will not go, Master!

No, Master! I have learned so much from you! I will not falter!

Donan knew his Master's words were true. I have felt those conflicting emotions.

Yes, I know. I am sorry.

Where will I go, Master? I cannot fight the dark one! I could barely fight the other four!

Another pang of fear shot through Donan's heart.

How, Master? How?

How can I tell the difference between my emotions and the Force?

Donan fingered the hilt of his Master's lightsaber. A live blade…

Master?

It is very confusing, Master.

<Rest, my Padawan. Dawn approaches.>

Donan walked in the early morning light, trying to maintain the balance between awareness of the world and submergence in The Force. Master Penam's lessons echoed in the back of his mind.

Relax. Remain passive to The Force. Let it flow through you. Stretch out with your feelings.

He could sense the trees around him. He knew where animals were hunting. He knew when they sensed his presence. So far, he had not sensed those who would soon come for him. They will not take me!

Do not resist events directly. Merge with them. Flow with them. When you have become one with the moment, then you can lead it where you will.

The Apprentice came to a small clearing. It was large enough that he would be easily seen by anyone watching, and going around would take an hour or more. He stopped at the edge of the trees and sat down in the meditation posture that Master Penam had taught. Stretch. Relax. Be.

His awareness leapt across the clearing and through the surrounding woods. Everything became clear. Except…

There was one area that remained muddy. He turned his head in that direction, focused his awareness in that direction. Visually, there seemed to be nothing there. Don't trust your eyes; they can deceive you. Use The Force!

He concentrated, attempting to make the muddy area clear. What could it be?

There was a blur of activity. Donan drew his lightsaber, the bright blade arcing through the air and resting in the guard position. Donan turned, following the general direction of the movement. The blur had gone. Donan found that his connection with The Force had slipped; he merged again, and his eyes went wide with surprise and fear.

"You…"

The Dark Man moved from behind a nearby tree and drew his own lightsaber.

"Come child. Let us help you."

Donan tried to quell the fear that arose in him as he waited for the Dark Man to attack. Moments passed with only the sounds of the forest coming and going. Donan knew that he could not wait forever; his attention would slip, and the other would attack in the moment of weakness. "I don't need your help, dark one," he finally called.

The man moved now, circling; slowly picking his way across the forest floor. "You do need our help. The other one has filled your head with lies. We can help you. I can help you."

"If you are here to help me, why do you present your blade? Lower it, so we may talk." Donan mirrored the man's movements, trying to see where the other was guiding him. Don't react; act!

He laughed. "And have you attack me? No. I know what kinds of lies he has told you. I will keep my guard until you believe me."

Donan made a disgusted noise. "I will never believe you, dark one."

"My name is Devar Bunshiru. I was your Master back at the Academy."

"Ha! My Master was…is Penam Odosque, and I have never been at the Academy!"

Devar stopped circling and moved forward. Donan sensed the clearing behind him. "All Jedi begin at the Academy. That is where you are tested. that is where your training begins. That is where I began your training, before Odosque took you away."

Donan slipped sideways, rather than backing into the clearing. "Master Odosque rescued me when a group of Dark Jedi revolted!"

"So that's what he said. I suppose that is how he saw it. Terribly misleading, however."

Devar advanced again, slipping to the side to keep the clearing at Donan's back. Donan realized that he would soon need to enter the clearing or engage Devar.

"Not misleading. From what I sense, you are as evil as Master suggested."

The Dark Man laughed. "There is no good or evil. There is no right or wrong. There are only goals and means. Do you know why Odosque brought you here? He defied the Council. He argued that the Jedi must not listen to their feelings! He would have us become androids!"

"No! He said not to hold onto your feelings-not to let them get in the way!"

Devar grimaced. "I see he has taught you well. This is for your own good."

The black shape lunged at Donan, the crimson blade cutting the air and seeking a target.

Arcs of light cut the air, trailing streams of ozone between the clashing figures. Donan merged with The Force as far as he dared, leaving just enough of himself to be aware of his opponent. He tried to ignore the… obscenities …that Master Devar spoke.

"Don't ignore your feelings. They are a source of strength!"

Donan blocked Devar's cut and tried to parry. The Master was skilled, beyond even Master Penam. He managed his defense, but could make no attack. He only grunted in response to Devar's words.

The fight continued. "You are angry. Confused. Let me help you."

Donan felt his anger rise. He tried to let it pass, to embrace the edge between caring too much and caring too little.

"Yes. Odosque has taught you well. You ignore your true self. That is why you cannot attack. That is why this stalemate continues."

"No!"

"You cannot maintain this forever. I have not even begun to tire."

He felt The Force slipping away. Fatigue rushed in to replace the warm feeling. Submit to The Force. Let it flow!

"Still you deny your true feelings. Search yourself! You can wield great power if you will only take it…"

"NO!"

Devar continued to attack. Donan stepped back, blocking the thrusts and cuts. Minutes passed, and the thoughts that Devar had spoken rolled in his brain. Let the feelings roll over and past you. Master Penam's words floated back to him. Acknowledge them, but don't hold onto them. Let them come and go.

"If you can't accept the truth, then you will die. Just like Odosque."

He killed my Master! Rage filled him. Odosque had been the only father that he had ever known. Odosque had raised him, trained him…loved him, even. "NO!"

Donan felt an icy rush fill him. Devar's attack stopped, and suddenly Donan was in control of the fight. Devar retreated, blocking each blow.

"Emotions give us strength. Denying your emotions is denying your strength. Without strength, you will die. Just like Odosque."

Another surge of rage was followed by another icy rush. Donan's senses stretched out and became razor sharp. He could sense Master Devar's… anticipation . He became aware of others in the brush surrounding the clearing. He ignored them and focused on striking Devar.

The lightsabers thrust and clashed faster now. The air was heavy with ozone and sweat. Donan pressed his attack, forcing Devar to retreat.

No! He cannot escape!

He reached out with The Force, tripping Devar as he backpedaled. Donan leapt forward with Force-enhanced speed, and raised his lightsaber for the final stroke.

"For Master Penam!"

He felt the jab at his neck just as he brought the blade down. He turned before the blade reached its target, looking for the source. What? Where?

A warm rush filled him, and he felt himself falling to the ground. Master?

Donan awoke and found himself lying on a hard bunk. As he raised himself up, it felt like a thousand hammers began pounding in his skull. He laid back down and breathed deeply, merging with the Force and turning his attention inward.

Relax. Be calm. let the Force fill you, and heal that which is broken. The Force is life. It will restore and repair, given enough time.

As Mater Penam's words came back to him, so did the memory of the clash with Master Devar. Donan reached for his saber and leapt from the bunk.

The lightsaber was gone, but Master Devar sat on the other side of a featureless metal room. Donan reached out with the Force towards Devar's saber. He saw the lines of the Force met and repelled by some darkness that suddenly sprang to life.

Devar did not move. His eyes stayed on Donan, and he looked slightly amused. Donan realized the futility of his situation, and knelt on the floor in front of the bunk.

He reached for the Force, then sent his awareness out from the room. I'm on a ship…a small cargo ship. He sensed no other people on the ship: either the ship was piloted by droids, or some of the few races that could not be affected by the Force.

"Well, you seem to have learned some patience, at least." Donan did not open his eyes; he used the Force to keep track of Devar. Suddenly, his sense of the ship was limited to the room.

"Piloted by droids. And I wouldn't want you trying to overload the hyperdrive, either."

Donan did not need the Force to know where the ship was headed. "You're taking me back to my parents."

"Of course, but why dwell on the obvious. Do you realize that you almost bested me yesterday?"

"Good always triumphs over evil."

Devar waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Good, evil…merely subjective labels applied by the ignorant. Do you know how it is that almost beat me?"

"As I said…"

"Yes, yes, yes, good and evil, heroes and villains, this is all quite amusing. Back to the answer: you used your feelings, Donan."

Donan felt a surge of emotion as the events replayed themselves in his head. The wave of anger, followed by the icy surge… He could sense the ice just outside of his perception, waiting to rush in and fill him again. "What have you done to me?"

"I've merely opened the door, Donan. It's up to you to walk through."

Donan answered with silence.

"You used your feelings of anger, Donan. You used them for strength. Now you know the true power of the Force!"

The ice penetrated Donan's body again. "You killed my Master!" He took a deep breath to control the power that filled him. "Killed him and kidnapped me!"

Donan lashed out with the Force. Devar's eyes widened as he found himself flung back towards the bulkhead. Donan leapt up to press his advantage.

Devar's saber snapped on and stopped mere millimeters from Donan's throat. "I would not suggest doing that again, Donan. I will be prepared next time."

Donan knelt again, struggling for control against the icy power that flowed within him. "You killed him."

"I killed your kidnapper, Donan. He took you from your parents. He tried to brainwash you with his deviant views of the Force!"

Relax. Be at peace. Submit to the Force. You will know what to do when you are passive, relaxed, at peace. Calm yourself and the Force will speak to you.

"Sill you do not accept my words. But you have felt the true power of the Force. You will not be able to deny that icy flow that even now tries to fill you."

Donan's head snapped up and turned to Devar.

"That's right. I know what you're feeling. I remember my first sessions with the true Force. It felt like I was being injected with ice.

"My Master told me a story about that feeling. Some monks on a world far away used to meditate underneath waterfalls in the winter. The water was so cold that it would shock and perhaps kill someone who had not had the training offered by the monks. One day a supplicant decided to attempt the feat.

"He stepped into the falls and immediately had the breath knocked from him. He stepped out for a moment and steeled himself for the shock. Stepping back in, he found that he could stay for a minute or two, but only with intense concentration. He stepped back out, shivering, and considered leaving. As he neared the edge of the water, he turned to one of the monks and shouted, 'How do you do it?'

"The monk calmly replied, 'You must submit completely. Offer no resistance whatsoever.'

"The supplicant waded back into the falls and tried again. Letting go of all resistance against the cold, he found that he could stay under for as long as he desired."

Donan found that Devar had extinguished his saber, and now stood in the open door. "The supplicant was accepted as a student, and eventually came to lead those monks."

With that, the door closed.

Donan had heard a version of the story before. When Master Penam told it, the supplicant fell and drowned when he let go of all resistance. One of the monks had then commented, 'He forgot to remain standing.'

The moral of Penam's version was you could not submit fully with the Force and remain in this plane of existence. Merge fully with the Force, and you will become part of the Force. You will exist in all places and yet in none; you will live in the past and future without living.

Penam's instructions were clear: always keep a part of yourself in reserve. Always keep a part of your awareness here and now.

Yet the icy tendrils of power still wavered near him, seeking an entry. He fought to keep them back. Once down the Dark path, forever will it control your destiny. Penam had spoken the words many times, but this time it seemed that many, many voices spoke the words in his head.

The moral of Devar's story had been clear. Submit, and you will survive. You cannot withstand the power of the Dark side forever.

Donan struggled with the black lines of power that tried to ensnare him. I cannot resist forever. But I cannot submit!

More of Penam's teachings drifted across his thoughts. You must not fear. Fear leads to the Dark side.

You will know the Light from the Dark when you are passive, at peace. Calm.

Let go. The Force will guide you.

An image from Devar's story crossed Donan's mind-yet the scene was changed. The supplicant did something new that had not been in any version of the story.

Donan took a deep breath and let go, allowing the Force to surge within him.

The icy blast nearly took his breath, but Donan did not resist. The wave brought with it images of his dying Master, of Devar, and other unimaginable horrors. Donan let himself drift with the flow, and soon the dark icy power drained away.

Donan opened his eyes, and realized what he must do.

Master Devar stopped near the door, reaching out with the Force to find Donan. He felt a small tendril of the boy's Force brush lightly, then Donan's presence was washed in darkness. Good. He has opened himself fully to the Dark side.

Devar opened the door and found Donan kneeling in the same spot where he had left the boy hours before. Devar closed the door.

"You saw the truth of my words?"

"Yes."

"Are you ready to…"

"…and no."

Devar's eyes widened as Donan leapt forward and attacked.

Donan sensed time slowing, as it had back in the city. He moved forward in the moment of Devar's surprise, letting all of his hate and anger fuel a thick black coil of the Force. The Force blasted into Devar, throwing him back against the bulkhead. Donan continued the assault as he rushed forward and drew the other man's saber.

Devar struggled to erect a defense, but Donan beat it back easily, snapping the blade on and up towards the head of his enemy.

"Good. Let your anger flow, Donan," the man rasped. The tip of the blade was beginning to leave a mark on his throat. "You are almost ready to meet your parents."

"No." Donan dropped the point of the blade and stepped back into the room. "I will probably never meet them." He let the screen of anger drop, and the blackness that had enveloped him dropped also.

Devar sneered as he realized what Donan had done. "You cannot let it go, boy. Once touched, you cannot truly let it go!" He flung his full fury against the boy, but Donan opened his hate back against Master Devar, and the two coils of Force collided near the center of the room, making the very air shimmer and dance.

"You see! You cannot let it go. You need it, now."

"Yes; I need it now . I will not need it once you are dead."

Devar's eyes widened again. "Strike me down. It will only serve to put you at the mercy of the Dark side!"

"No, Master Devar. It will not. I have found an alternate ending for your story.

"Why didn't the supplicant just get out of the water?"

"Nonsense. The story doesn't make any sense, then. There is no lesson. You must submit to survive."

"The supplicant moved into the falls. Why could he not move back out?"

"You try to make the story too literal."

"Perhaps. But the idea remains. Emotion drives the Dark side. To let it go, must let go of your emotions-just as Master Penam taught."

"You are not a droid!" Devar shouted. "You are human! You have emotions! You cannot just let them go!"

" I can."

Donan swept forward and drove the lightsaber through Devar.

EPILOGUE

Donan lit the funeral barge, then pushed it out into the lake.

"Good bye, Master."

He had found only the Master's clothes in the cave. He knew that his Master had embraced the Force with his last breath. Now, Donan watched as those belongings burned in silent tribute.

< You are troubled, my Padawan. >

Donan sensed, more than heard, his Master. A faint image seemed to shimmer at the edge of his awareness. "Yes, Master."

< You are worried that you have started down the Dark path .>

"That… concern …remains. My thoughts dwell on my new Master."

< You have no need of a Master now. You have faced as serious a Trial as most Jedi Masters. >

"There is much that I do not know, Master. I must seek their knowledge."

< You have what you need. The Jedi will fear your use of the Dark side. I doubt that they would allow you to live, if they found you. >

"They must know balance, Master. There must be balance in the Force."

The burning barge moved slowly across the dark water, sending bright sparks into the night air. Donan stood, shouldered his pack, and headed back to the temple. I must teach them balance.

Page last updated 2012-03-29